08 September 2012

Finding my precious (ness)

Until recently I believed I'd lost some precious gemstones and crystals I'd kept and carried in a pouch. I believe in their power to heal, to bring good fortune, protection, and evoke creativity among other things. For some reason these stones were lost to me and after what I believed was a thorough search I came to believe that I may have lost them forever.  These stones were special, sacred, and held magic for me. I wasn't sure how I would recover them. I considered them priceless. Yet in my heart I believed they would find their way back to me; I just didn't know when.  After a brief mourning, I let go of the  attachment I had for them.  It was hard but necessary.

Then a few days ago a sistafriend came over to do a Reiki healing.  She had also been one of those gems that I'd known briefly before losing touch to time, circumstance and distance.  Our reconnection was one of those divine manifestations that can't be planned but only orchestrated by the Universe.  During her visit and her healing I discovered many things.  I discovered that my throat chakra was blocked and that my sacral and base chakras were also keeping energy from flowing to the rest of my body.  However, my crown and heart chakras were open, which she commented made sense to her because of my personality.  I'm not saying this to brag, but it is what it is. Okay?

While moving gently but intentionally through my chakras I could actually feel the places where the energy was stuck, especially my throat.  There was this sense of restriction I experienced as she held her warm healing hands in that area.  It was like I was having an allergic reaction to something. I could feel my throat tightening, and while this didn't scare me, I did wonder why it was happening. What was it that was allowing this sensation to prohibit me from communicating what was on my heart and mind? I acknowledged the presence of this phenomenon and continued to be worked on by my sista healer.  I trusted her ability to read what I had been unable to for some reason.  Also stuck where those places that rule my emotions and help to ground me.  In the end I realized that there was still a lot of work, inner work that needed to be done.  I also acknowledged that this was okay, that I needn't freak out or beat myself up about it.  I am a work in progress.  Nothing wrong with that.

We talked about our experiences.  Her experience as healer, my experience of being healed.  She noted that although my heart and crown were open they were giving off cold energy, which made it difficult to move the energy from top to bottom.  I was told that I could be holding on to past pain and in addition to forgiving that pain and whatever/whoever is causing it I should also forgive myself.  Oh Universe, talk to me! And as has been the guidance of other healers (I've had my aura cleansed and body massaged by powerful womenfolk!), I need to step aside and allow Spirit and Earth to basically have its way. With my permission they can show me how it's done. Why has it been so hard for me to get out of the way?  Yes, I can be hard-headed, stubborn, and you know what they say about a hard head?  It makes for a soft ass.  In other words, ignoring the Spirit can have consequences, consequences that will be felt.  I am beginning to listen.  I am learning to move out of the way.  Work. In. Progress.

Saint Anthony of Egypt
Noticing the various stones and crystals she was using on my body reminded me of those I'd lost.  I mentioned this to her and she instructed me to ask for the guidance of Saint Anthony, the Egyptian patron of things lost.  Hmmmm...nothing else had worked.  Why not?  So the other night while watching an episode of Breaking Bad, I paused to embark on another search for my lost possessions. I asked Saint Anthony for his assistance while I searched again through the numerous bags I've used over the past months and was about to give up when I decided to look in a bag I'd been using the last week or so. Well, wouldn't you know it, there in plain sight was the pouch that held my stones!  Why hadn't I seen them before?  No matter, I was as happy as a kid in a candy store!  I'd never seen a prayer answered so quickly!  If I didn't believe in the power of this patron Saint before, I certainly do now.  

I am ready to find balance.  I am ready to speak my truths.  I am ready to find my precious treasure, my preciousness and I know that it is buried somewhere deep within.  It's not lost.  I just need to look again with new eyes and renewed faith.

Thank you, Saint Anthony, and thanks to Angela Omulepu, who brought him to my attention.  Miracles happen.  This I've discovered.

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